Another Chapter – I Kissed Dating Goodbye

01.21 |

Here, another part of the book has caught my eyes… And again, I wanna share with you guys, wish u can get some learning from that ;)

In his book, Joshua Harris wrote….

In dating, when we pursue romance is a major factor in determining whether or not dating is appropriate for us. And we can only determine the appropriate time to pursue romance when we understand God’s purpose for singleness and Trust His timing for relationships.

In some relationships, dating relationships are often fueled by impatience, and we can directly relate many problems with dating to wrong timing. We want what we want right now. While we don’t possess a magical gold thread to rush us through life, we can develop wrong attitudes that have a similar effect. But, God wants us to appreciate the gifts of the present season of our lives. He wants us to learn the patience and trust necessary to wait for His perfect timing in all things, including our love lives.

As he said, “The right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing”..

In today’s world, we don’t readily accept the concept of delayed gratification. Our culture teaches us that if something is good, we should seek to enjoy immediately. So we microwave our food, e-mail our letters, and express mail or packages. We do our best to escape the confines to time by accelerating our schedules, speeding up our pace, and doing whatever it takes to beat the clock… Unfortunately, this mentality has tremendously affected the timing in today’s dating relationship.

Just as spring’s role is different from that of fall, so each seasons of our lives has a different emphasis, focus, and beauty. One is not better than another; each season yields its own unique treasures. We cannot skip ahead to experience the riches of another life season. Each season builds on the one before it.

God has many wonderful experiences He wants to give to us, but He also assigns these experiences to particular seasons of our lives. But we often make mistake… We take a good thing out of his appropriate season and enjoy it when we want it. It’s like a fruit picked green or a flower plucked before it blossoms, our attempts to rush God’s timing can spoil the beauty of His plan for our lives.

Just because something is good doesn’t mean we should pursue it right now. Remember, right thing at the wrong time is a wrong thing…

Before two people are ready for the responsibility of commitment, they should content themselves with friendship and wait in deep emotional intimacy. In friendship, we can practice the skills of relating, caring and sharing their lives with other people. We also can observe people’s characters and begin to see what they’ll one day want in their mates. It’s true, we can learn worth from dating relationships, but we need to make sure if those relationships don’t bog us down. Wasting too much time trying each other out as boyfriend and girlfriend can actually distract two people from more important task of preparing to be good spouses.

If we spend all our time and energy trying to hunt this person down, or (if you’ve already found this person) trying to contain him or her until we can marry, we might actually do that person disservice. For now, what’s most important to realize is that the guy or girls you will one day marry doesn’t need a girlfriend or boyfriend..BUT what that person really need is Someone who mature enough to spend the season before marriage preparing to be a godly wife or husband :)

While we are single, dating not only keeps us from preparing for marriage, but can also quite possibly rob us of the gift of singleness. Dating can tie us down in a series of pseudo relationships, but God wants us to maximize our freedom and flexibility to get closer with Him OR to prepare our future (achieve your dreams) OR even share your love with your family, friend and people surround.. Because, once you decided to commit with someone (your spouse), means you will spend the rest of your life with him / her and your "new family" as well..

So, why don't you optimize your season of single by doing something that might be useful for your future?. Any season of singleness, is a gift. We just might do God a disservice by wasting its potential on a lifestyle of short-term dating…

Waiting for God’s timing requires trusting in His Goodness and wisdom. We develop patience as we trust that God denies us what we think is good only because He has something better for us – both now and in the future…

*) Notes : The text above has been taken from, "I kissed Dating Goodbye, by Joshua Harris".