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Another Chapter – I Kissed Dating Goodbye

01.21 |



Here, another part of the book has caught my eyes… And again, I wanna share with you guys, wish u can get some learning from that ;)

In his book, Joshua Harris wrote….

In dating, when we pursue romance is a major factor in determining whether or not dating is appropriate for us. And we can only determine the appropriate time to pursue romance when we understand God’s purpose for singleness and Trust His timing for relationships.

In some relationships, dating relationships are often fueled by impatience, and we can directly relate many problems with dating to wrong timing. We want what we want right now. While we don’t possess a magical gold thread to rush us through life, we can develop wrong attitudes that have a similar effect. But, God wants us to appreciate the gifts of the present season of our lives. He wants us to learn the patience and trust necessary to wait for His perfect timing in all things, including our love lives.

As he said, “The right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing”..

In today’s world, we don’t readily accept the concept of delayed gratification. Our culture teaches us that if something is good, we should seek to enjoy immediately. So we microwave our food, e-mail our letters, and express mail or packages. We do our best to escape the confines to time by accelerating our schedules, speeding up our pace, and doing whatever it takes to beat the clock… Unfortunately, this mentality has tremendously affected the timing in today’s dating relationship.

Just as spring’s role is different from that of fall, so each seasons of our lives has a different emphasis, focus, and beauty. One is not better than another; each season yields its own unique treasures. We cannot skip ahead to experience the riches of another life season. Each season builds on the one before it.

God has many wonderful experiences He wants to give to us, but He also assigns these experiences to particular seasons of our lives. But we often make mistake… We take a good thing out of his appropriate season and enjoy it when we want it. It’s like a fruit picked green or a flower plucked before it blossoms, our attempts to rush God’s timing can spoil the beauty of His plan for our lives.

Just because something is good doesn’t mean we should pursue it right now. Remember, right thing at the wrong time is a wrong thing…

Before two people are ready for the responsibility of commitment, they should content themselves with friendship and wait in deep emotional intimacy. In friendship, we can practice the skills of relating, caring and sharing their lives with other people. We also can observe people’s characters and begin to see what they’ll one day want in their mates. It’s true, we can learn worth from dating relationships, but we need to make sure if those relationships don’t bog us down. Wasting too much time trying each other out as boyfriend and girlfriend can actually distract two people from more important task of preparing to be good spouses.

If we spend all our time and energy trying to hunt this person down, or (if you’ve already found this person) trying to contain him or her until we can marry, we might actually do that person disservice. For now, what’s most important to realize is that the guy or girls you will one day marry doesn’t need a girlfriend or boyfriend..BUT what that person really need is Someone who mature enough to spend the season before marriage preparing to be a godly wife or husband :)

While we are single, dating not only keeps us from preparing for marriage, but can also quite possibly rob us of the gift of singleness. Dating can tie us down in a series of pseudo relationships, but God wants us to maximize our freedom and flexibility to get closer with Him OR to prepare our future (achieve your dreams) OR even share your love with your family, friend and people surround.. Because, once you decided to commit with someone (your spouse), means you will spend the rest of your life with him / her and your "new family" as well..


So, why don't you optimize your season of single by doing something that might be useful for your future?. Any season of singleness, is a gift. We just might do God a disservice by wasting its potential on a lifestyle of short-term dating…

Waiting for God’s timing requires trusting in His Goodness and wisdom. We develop patience as we trust that God denies us what we think is good only because He has something better for us – both now and in the future…


*) Notes : The text above has been taken from, "I kissed Dating Goodbye, by Joshua Harris".

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Posted by Unknown

Hidup...Tuhan...Kebahagiaan..

23.26 |



Ingin sedikit bercerita tentang “kekonyolan” pemikiran ku ketika pikiran ini sedang “nganggur”…
Si Otak berkata,”hmmhmm…bukankah Tuhanmu Maha Kaya, Maha Pengasih, Maha Penyayang, lagi Maha Pemurah?? Lalu kenapa kamu harus berlelah lelah untuk berusaha??..Kenapa ketika kamu menginginkan sebuah mobil, Ia tidak langsung memberikannya?? Atau mungkin hal-hal lain yang pernah menjadi keinginan dan impian Mu??? Bukankah itu semua adalah hal yang mudah bagiNya?”..

Dan logika pun berkata,”Iya juga ya…kenapa ya?”…

Setelah dipikir dipikir dipikir, akhirnya “kehidupan” memberikan jawabannya..
Kehidupan ini berkataaa......
"Ya, karena itulah esensi kehidupan… di dalam hidup ini, kita menganal ada yang namanya “proses pencapaian”…dimana kita harus berusaha untuk memeperoleh apa yang kita inginkan..Melalui proses ini, kita akan memperoleh berbagai macam pembelejaran yang mampu membawa kita menjadi pribadi yang lebih baik dan lebih dewasa…

Tidakkah kamu menyadari bahwa ini adalah salah satu bentuk bahwa Tuhan menyayangiMU??

Tuhaan tidak menginginkan umatNya menjadi umat yang manja dan malas…Justru, Tuhan membenci mereka yang malas dan tidak mau berusaha…Disisi lain, Ia tengah mendidik kita agar menjadi umat yang “kuat”, mandiri dan mampu mengatasi tantangan dalam hidup ini…

Tuhan membekali kita dengan Otak, untuk berfikir..Berfikir bagaimana agar kita dapat bertahan hidup? Berfikir bagaimana kita agar bisa mencapai dan menciptakan kehidupan yang lebih baik, tidak hanya bagi diri sendiri, tetapi juga bagi kehidupan disekitar kita dan bahkan kehidupan didunia???... Dengan otak, kita juga mampu mencari ilmu…Tuhan menyukai mereka yang berilmu..karna dengan ilmu,kita bisa merubah dunia dan membawa hidup kearah yang lebih baik…

Dan Tidak hanya otak, masih ada anugrah lain seperti mata, hidung, telinga, mulut, tangan, kaki, dan anggota tubuh lainnya, yang jika keseluruhan fungsi mereka disatukan secara optimal, akan menghasilkan sesuatu yang luar biasa…" *)am I right..?

Menurutku, ini juga adalah salah satu bentuk kasih sayang Tuhan…Kita diberi ujian tetapi Ia tidak membiarkannya begitu saja… Melainkan kita dibekali terlebih dahulu…DAN selanjutnya, tergantung bagaimana cara kita mananggapi nya…Apakah kita mampu “mengoptimalkan” bekal tersebut atau justru malah menghabiskannya dan membiarkannya begitu saja??? Wah, jika ini terjadi, tentunya kita akan menjadi orang yang paling merugi

Menurutku, selama hidup kita tidak akan memperoleh apa yang kita inginkan dalam sekejap, seperti layaknya cerita-cerita dongen dunia khayalan… “simsalabim dan semuanya pun ada”…TIDAK MUNGKIN…bagiku, kehidupan semacam itu hanya akan ada disurga…tapi bukan dibumi…Bahkan, orang terkaya dan terhebat sekalipun, pasti telah melalui sebuah perjuangan dan pengorbanan yang besar dimasa lalu yang membuat mereka menjadi besar seperti saat ini…Coba, sekali sekali kita membaca profil orang2 tersohor didunia seperti Steve Jobs, Walt Disney, Hitler, dll..Hidup mereka tidak selalu mulus…Banyak tantangan dan rintangan yang telah mereka hadapi…Tapi, disitu lah perbedaan mereka yang sukses dan yang tidak…Mereka yang sukses, tidak mengenal kata berhenti dan putus asa…Mereka selalu bangun dan bangkit kembali untuk mencapai hal yang lebih besar lagi…..Semakin Berharga Impian dan keinginan tersebut, Semakin tinggi pula perjuangan yang dibutuhkan…karna segala sesuatu yang berharga memang layak diperjuangkan, bukan??  :)

Si otak pun kembali bertanya,”Lalu, jika kita harus berusaha, apakah pernan Tuhan dalam hidup ini??”

Menurutku, peranan Tuhan disini adalah untuk selalu memberi petunjuk dan kemudahan…Ia membukakan kita jalan dan memberikan kemudahan untuk mendapatkan hal tersebut…

Disinilah peran doa dan ibadah…Ketika berdoa dan beribadah kita bisa meminta restu kepada-Nya agar diberi petunjuk dan kemudahan untuk mencapai impian dan keinginan tersebut..Namun, Ia adalah Tuhan Yang Maha Penyayang lagi Maha Mengetahui..Ia lah yang mengetahui apa apa yang terbaik untuk kita…terkadang, apa apa yang kita inginkan, belum tentu itu adalah Hal yang terbaik untuk kita saat itu….

Ketika manusia menetapkan keinginan dan cita cita nya terkadang terpengaruh oleh “hawa nafsu”, materi, prestigious ataupun hal hal dunia lainnya yang bisa membawa manusia kedalam kehancuran…Sementara Tuhan, melihat segala sesuatu dengan kaca mata Kasih Sayang-Nya….Jika Ia tidak mengabulkan apa yang kita inginkan, percaya lah Ia pasti telah mengganti Nya dengan hal yang lebih baik yang memang pantas untuk keadaan kita saat itu…Hanya saja terkadang keegoisan dan sifat negatif manusia telah menutup mata hati nya untuk dapat berfikir jernih dan dapat melihat Nikmat dan Anugrah dari Tuhan….

Tanpa restu dan ridha dari Tuhan, kita tidak akan bisa hidup seperti saat ini….Tanpa restu dan ridha dari Tuhan, kita tidak akan bisa memiliki apa yang kita miliki saat ini…karna memang Beliau lah pemilk kehidupan ini :)


Lalu, jika pada akhirnya kita tidak memperoleh apa yang kita inginkan, apa yang harus kita lakukan???

Jawabannya adalah…bersabar dan bersyukurlah…kita harus belajar untuk bersyukur (berterimakasih) atas apa yang kita miliki..karna dengan bersyukur, kita akan merasa cukup dan bahagia :)

Syukuri apa yang ada..Hidup adalah anugerah…
Tetap jalani Hidup Ini…Melakukan Yang terbaik.. :)

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Posted by Unknown

Why Women Cry??

02.19 |

A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?" "Because I'm a woman," she told him...
"I don't understand," he said. His Mom just hugged him and said,"And you never will."


Later the little boy asked his father," Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?"
"All woman cry for no reason," was all his dad could say.


The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.
Finally he put in a call to God. When God got on the phone, he asked,"God, why women cry so easily?"
and God said:


When I made the woman she had to be special..


I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort...


I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children..


I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining...


I gave her sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly...


I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart..


I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurt his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly...


And finally I gave her a tear to shed...This is her exclusively to use whenever it is needed.."


"You see my son," said God,"the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair...


The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides...




This post was taken from http://www.sodahead.com/fun/why-women-cry/question-2073957/?link=ibaf&q=tears&imgurl=http://data.whicdn.com/images/11845237/art-beautiful-face-tears-woman-Favim.com-93760_large.jpg
Posted by Deborah, on August 12, 2011

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Posted by Unknown

I Kissed Dating Goodbye

09.51 |



Have you ever read this book???
This book is actually belongs to Christian.. But, I’m quite interesting to take the main idea of this book which telling us why dating scene is not the best way to show your love or even make it as part of process in tracing our possible life partner’s characters…Otherwise, dating just can break up the love purity and create an artificial environment that doesn’t require a person to accurately portray his or her positive and negative characters…

The question is, “So, What’s Wrong with Dating???”…
In most of relationship today that we called as “Dating” we’ve disconnected romance and commitment and pursue intimacy..Through dating, a couple could enjoy the romantic feelings as well as the physical intimacy before the “time”… A “time” where both romantic feelings and physical intimacy are allowed only if a couple already marriage or committed to live together on the name of God…

A physical relationship doesn’t equal with love…There’s a phrase says, “Just because two lips have mate, doesn’t mean hearts have joined”.. A relationship solely based on physical attraction and romantic feelings will last as long as the feeling last…Physical involvement can make two people feel close. But actually if they realize, their dating relationship is only a common lust…


The two people involved allow the needs and passions of the moment take centre stage…They don’t look each other as possible life partners or weigh the responsibilities of marriage.. Instead, they focus on demands of the present…and with that mindset, the couple’s physical relationship can easily become the focus..They want to feel that they are special to each other, and they concretely express this through physical intimacy…People began to distinguish their special relationship through hand holding, kissing and everything else that follows…’till they found Dating (relationship between friendship and marriage) is so comfortable….Through dating people could experience many of the emotional and sadly, even physical privileges of marriage in their dating relationship….Sometimes this comfortable feeling can make people are addicted to “dating”….When they broke up with their couple, then they try to find another person to fulfill the emptiness… Then, they broke up again, find another replacement, create a romantic feeling and having a physical intimacy AGAIN… So, how many persons will become “victims” in your love history……????? Isn’t it selfish ….???

So, for man or woman who is ready to get married, dating scene and the habits it encourages aren’t helpful. It can seem like you are holding a short term relationship after another..

True love isn’t just expressed in passionately whispered words or an intimate kiss or an embrace BEFORE two people are married…Otherwise, love is expressed in RESPECT, SELF-CONTROL, PATIENCE, even words left unsaid..

Love fueled integrity and gave them the patience needed to wait…

Patience can be by waiting until I’m ready for commitment before pursuing romance..Stop worrying whom I’m going to marry and BEGAN TRUSTING God’s plans and timing…

I stopped dating not because I don’t want to get married…Not because I don’t enjoy romance…But because I realized that I need to wait on romance until I can match my pursuit intimacy with pursuit of commitment…But it doesn’t mean I have no relationship with opposite sex, but rather an APPROPRIATE relationships and an APPROPRIATE INTIMACY…(*Please be noticed..That intimacy can be an intimacy as friend, family, etc…Each of them has different level intimacy….and we have to carefully determine whether the intimacy of our relationship is appropriate to our current level of commitment) ;)


*) Taken from book,"I kissed dating goodbye", by Joshua Harris

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Posted by Unknown
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