Have you
ever read this book???
This book
is actually belongs to Christian.. But, I’m quite interesting to take the main
idea of this book which telling us why dating scene is not the best way to show
your love or even make it as part of process in tracing our possible life
partner’s characters…Otherwise, dating just can break up the love purity and
create an artificial environment that doesn’t require a person to accurately
portray his or her positive and negative characters…
The
question is, “So, What’s Wrong with Dating???”…
In most of
relationship today that we called as “Dating” we’ve disconnected romance and
commitment and pursue intimacy..Through dating, a couple could enjoy the
romantic feelings as well as the physical intimacy before the “time”… A “time”
where both romantic feelings and physical intimacy are allowed only if a couple
already marriage or committed to live together on the name of God…
A physical
relationship doesn’t equal with love…There’s a phrase says, “Just because two
lips have mate, doesn’t mean hearts have joined”.. A relationship solely based
on physical attraction and romantic feelings will last as long as the feeling
last…Physical involvement can make two people feel close. But actually if they
realize, their dating relationship is only a common lust…
The two people involved allow the needs and passions of the moment take centre stage…They don’t look each other as possible life partners or weigh the responsibilities of marriage.. Instead, they focus on demands of the present…and with that mindset, the couple’s physical relationship can easily become the focus..They want to feel that they are special to each other, and they concretely express this through physical intimacy…People began to distinguish their special relationship through hand holding, kissing and everything else that follows…’till they found Dating (relationship between friendship and marriage) is so comfortable….Through dating people could experience many of the emotional and sadly, even physical privileges of marriage in their dating relationship….Sometimes this comfortable feeling can make people are addicted to “dating”….When they broke up with their couple, then they try to find another person to fulfill the emptiness… Then, they broke up again, find another replacement, create a romantic feeling and having a physical intimacy AGAIN… So, how many persons will become “victims” in your love history……????? Isn’t it selfish ….???
The two people involved allow the needs and passions of the moment take centre stage…They don’t look each other as possible life partners or weigh the responsibilities of marriage.. Instead, they focus on demands of the present…and with that mindset, the couple’s physical relationship can easily become the focus..They want to feel that they are special to each other, and they concretely express this through physical intimacy…People began to distinguish their special relationship through hand holding, kissing and everything else that follows…’till they found Dating (relationship between friendship and marriage) is so comfortable….Through dating people could experience many of the emotional and sadly, even physical privileges of marriage in their dating relationship….Sometimes this comfortable feeling can make people are addicted to “dating”….When they broke up with their couple, then they try to find another person to fulfill the emptiness… Then, they broke up again, find another replacement, create a romantic feeling and having a physical intimacy AGAIN… So, how many persons will become “victims” in your love history……????? Isn’t it selfish ….???
So, for man
or woman who is ready to get married, dating scene and the habits it encourages
aren’t helpful. It can seem like you are holding a short term relationship
after another..
True love isn’t
just expressed in passionately whispered words or an intimate kiss or an
embrace BEFORE two people are married…Otherwise, love is expressed in RESPECT, SELF-CONTROL,
PATIENCE, even words left unsaid..
Love fueled
integrity and gave them the patience needed to wait…
Patience
can be by waiting until I’m ready for commitment before pursuing romance..Stop
worrying whom I’m going to marry and BEGAN TRUSTING God’s plans and timing…
I stopped
dating not because I don’t want to get married…Not because I don’t enjoy
romance…But because I realized that I need to wait on romance until I can match
my pursuit intimacy with pursuit of commitment…But it doesn’t mean I have no
relationship with opposite sex, but rather an APPROPRIATE relationships and an
APPROPRIATE INTIMACY…(*Please be noticed..That intimacy can be an intimacy as
friend, family, etc…Each of them has different level intimacy….and we have to
carefully determine whether the intimacy of our relationship is appropriate to
our current level of commitment) ;)
*) Taken from book,"I kissed dating goodbye", by Joshua Harris
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